Healing from a Breakup: A Licensed Counselor’s Guide to Moving Forward

By Fernanda Lewinsky, LMHC

I’ve sobbed into my pillow at 3 a.m., wondering if the ache of a breakup would ever fade. If you’re there right now, I see you—and I’ve been there too. A breakup can drain the color from your world, leaving you lost in a gray haze of grief. But as a licensed counselor who’s walked this path, I promise there’s a way back to brighter days.

Here’s how to start healing:

Feel the Pain (It’s Okay)

A breakup is a loss—of a person, a future, a piece of yourself. Let the tears come, scribble your hurt in a journal, or vent to a friend. In my practice, I’ve seen how burying it only keeps you stuck longer.

Protect Your Heart

Resist the urge to text your ex or scroll their Instagram. A clean break—even just for now—clears space for clarity. Trust me, it’s a game-changer.

Rediscover You

Who are you beyond this relationship? Pick up that guitar you’ve missed, try a new recipe, or just sit with yourself. This is your time to grow into someone stronger.

Lean on Your People

Healing’s easier with a hand to hold—call a friend, hug your dog, or join a group. You’re not meant to carry this alone.

Be Gentle with Yourself

Caught yourself thinking, “Was I not enough?” I’ve been there too. Your worth isn’t tied to this ending—treat yourself like the friend you’d comfort through the same pain.

Build a New Rhythm

Small routines can anchor you when life feels shaky. In my sessions, clients find surprising strength in a morning walk or a quiet cup of tea at night.

Skip the Quick Fixes

Numbing out with wine or a rebound fling might feel good for a moment, but it delays the real healing. Try a run, a sketchbook, or a deep breath instead.

See the Silver Lining

Breakups hurt, but they also teach. What’s this showing you about what you need next time? Every ending carves space for a fresh start.

Know When to Reach Out

If the sadness lingers or you can’t get out of bed, that’s okay—it happens. As a therapist, I’ve helped people just like you find their footing again. You don’t have to stay stuck.

“You’re not broken—just bruised. Healing starts with giving yourself permission to feel.”

Final Thoughts

Healing isn’t a straight line, and you don’t have to figure it out solo. If you’re ready to take that next step—or just need someone to listen—I’m here. Let’s talk about what healing looks like for you. You deserve joy again, and it’s waiting on the other side.

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